Mom's At It Again

Friday, September 28, 2007


I've drawn the winner for the free design...but first, the answer to the trivia. The question was:

What 1991 music video did Johnny Depp appear in?

The answer was Into The Great Wide Open, by Tom Petty. Yay for Cafegirl who got it right. She's the trivia goddess for this week.

And now for the good stuff. I wrote everybody's name on pieces of paper who participated and drew the winners at random. If you answered more than once, your name was added more than once. There is strength in numbers. I also decided...because I am feeling so wonderful and giving today, that I would draw two winners. Shocked? You really shouldn't be. I'm not as mean as everybody says. So without further ado, the winners are:


Congrats Mr. Crazy and Spaceface. You two are genuinely deserving, and two of my most favorite bloggers in the whole wide Earth. Keep an eye out for an email from me sometime today or tomorrow with all the details.

Now playing: 2 Pac - I Get Around
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Trivia Thursday 4

Ok, this might be the last one of these unless you guys want me to keep it up. I enjoy my reindeer games, anyway...maybe I'll keep it up just to amuse myself. I'll draw the winner of the free design tomorrow, so this is your last chance to enter. Here is your question for this week...and because I'm such a swell chick, I've made it a fairly easy one.

What 1991 music video did Johnny Depp appear in?

The answer will be posted tomorrow. Good luck!

Now playing: Glass Tiger - Someday
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

I Know All There Is To Know About The Crying Game

After getting over the 24 hour flu from hell yesterday and feeling pretty good today after catching up on all my email, I decided to go for a short walk. I'm grateful to just be sitting upright and not horking up all my innerds today. It's a good day for a walk, thought I. Sure! I'll walk, that'll perk me right up. Seize the day and all that. The sun is shining, it's not to damn cold, I have comfy shoes and I need some fresh air...the walk will do me good, thought I.

A walking I go.

I make it two blocks from my front door and Super Bum walks by me with this toothy grin smelling of a combination of Night Train and swiss cheese, undresses me with his eyes, like I'm the first piece of meat he's seen since 'Nam and wants to jump on this and hump whatever limb happens to pass his way...

And I feel like laying in the tub, curled up in a ball with the hot water washing all the dirty away.

Great idea, Mia...go for a walk.

I'll never learn.

Babyface - Whip Appeal

Monday, September 24, 2007

It's *THIS* Big

I have a headache that is quickly turning into the envy of all headaches. It's a three part headache. I think part one would be that I'm slightly OD'ing on caffeine. I've had no less than nine Diet Cokes, and three cups of coffee today. Yup, I'm working on replacing all the fluids in my body with carmelized water and fresh ground goodness.

The second part would be that I've drank all of this said caffeine on an empty stomach. I go through days like that where I just plain don't feel hungry...until like three in the afternoon and by then it's too late for lunch, and too early for dinner and then I've just gotta wait it out...and consume mass quantities of Diet Coke. Three O' Clock's always either too early or too late.

The last part has to do with the heat in here. It's just a little shy of nuclear fusion in the house. At one point the thermometer in my bathroom read 99. I turned on the heat a few hours ago and shut the door to warm it up in there, I had a ton of cleaning and general crap to do in there...I forgot to turn it off. I just remembered that situation and went back in to grab my CD's out so they don't implode and send shards of metal-y type CD stuff in my skull when I get in there to clean the toilet later, sat on the heater vent by accident, and burnt what I think was my ass, it was hard to tell through my one good eye that isn't pounding through the socket...but I definitely smelled a burny flesh kind of thing.

Ow. owowowowowowowowowowow. Ow.

I want brownies.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Marc Jacobs Is On Crack

No, seriously. He is on nuclear crack. I'm no fashionista, and I'm certainly no shoe snob, hell, I feel glamorous if I go with my Vans instead of my Birkenstocks. But these things are ridiculous, no? Backwards heel...pssshaw. Heels are hard enough to walk in...or at least they are for me, if it's anything higher than a quarter, I fall flat on my face. It's all part of my elegant grace. These shoes leave so many unanswered questions!

Who is gonna wear these things? How do you balance? What happens when the heel falls off these things? Are you just left with the anti-heel? Why does it have a disco ball on the toe and a ballet shoe in the back? Is it the equivalent of a reversed shoe mullet? Party in the front, business in the's a Shoellet. Is this going to spur another backwards clothes trend like the early 90's? Are Kris Kross making another wiggedy wiggedy wiggedy wack album? Are podiatrists getting a cut of sales? Cuz dude, these things are going to make their patient roster's spike. Did the House of Jacobs make a boo-boo and now their trying to blow it off like it was intentional?

So. Confused.

I hate fashion.

Aerosmith - What It Takes

Saturday, September 22, 2007

What's The One Song?

I just got woken up on my one day to sleep in by my hubs calling me from work. I pick up the phone in a halfway awake state, somewhere between panic and dude, leave me alone. The convo went something like this:

Nerdly: Hey! What is this song! We can't figure it out:

(Proceeds to put his phone up to the speaker)

Me: What the hell?

Speaker: psskshhhhhhhhhhttttttWOWOWOWOWpskshhhhhhhhhhhtttttttt.

Nerdly: Yeah! What is that song?

Me: Oh. My. God. Let me hear it again.

Speaker: psskshhhhhhhhhhttttttWOWOWOWOWpskshhhhhhhhhhhtttttttt.

Nerdly: It's by that one band that you like.

Me: Brilliant. The Wow Wowwww Wowwwwwww song?

Nerdly: Yeah.

Me: Alice In Chains Man In The Box.

Nerdly: YEAH! That's it. We bow down to your usless musical prowess. I have to work now.

Me: Dork.

Before we moved he would call me, or someone else from his job would call me with the same questions. What's that one song, where the guy yells all the time? What's that one song, came out about 25 years ago with the chick who died? Who sang that song about the cat year? The weirdest shit. Weirder still....I always knew the answer. I became the go-to music guru. He used to work nights though...and he used to work with fairly normal people being in retail management. Now? Now he works in computers, which is awesome, but if I start getting calls from all the Tech Geeks wanting to know about a Moby song, or if Shatner ever did a cover of an Enya tune...and at 7:30 in the morning. I'm gonna hurt somebody.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Trivia Thursday 3 Winners

We have a winner this week...woo! The question from yesterday was:

What is the most requested radio song of all time?

The answer was Every Breath You Take by The Police...Blonde Blogger got the right answer except she said it was by Sting...which I am willing to overlook, cuz I realize not everybody is the rabid Sting fan that I am. Even though those people make me sad, and a part of me dies whenever anyone confuses the Police with Sting. I can look past that, and just see that Blonde Blogger is the trivia goddess for the week.

And speaking of The Blonde One...she just won a killer purse and shows pictures over on her blog. I want it. Someone go swipe it for me while she's not looking.

No I jest...stealing is wrong.


What's a bitch gotta do to get her hands on a free striped watermelon doohickey purse?!

Eric Clapton - I've Got A Rock N' Roll Heart

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Trivia Thursday 3

Regardless of how many people enter, I figured I might as well finish this month out with the trivia since I have a freebie design promised. Woo Free Stuff! Here's the gist answer the trivia in my comments, if you're right or even if you're not, just for entering, I'll put you in the drawing for a free design by me to be done at the end of the month. Get it? Got It? Good. Here's your question for the week:

What is officially the most requested radio song of all time?

Good luck! I'll post the answer tomorrow.

Air Supply - Here I Am (I rock so hard, no?)

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Random Randomness

New design here. I do love my Q movies. I've done Pulp Fiction (with Zed of course) and now, four years later, Kill time, sometime in 2011, I'm thinking Jackie Brown. Heh.

How long will hamburger last in the fridge if you don't have any ziplock bags to keep it in, so it's just sitting in the styrofoam thingie, sandwiched between two plates?

Canned spinach is the work of satan.

If I have one more sip of Diet Coke this morning, I'm going to crack a kidney.

And finally...I'm not getting a ton of people playing along with my little trivia's such a pain in the arse switching blogs. Ugh. Anywho, I've decided to just include everybody who humored me and played along...even if they didn't get the answer right. And if suddenly a billion people start playing, I may regret this. The answer to last weeks question was "Jokes". The word included in the most internet searches was Jokes. Although sex would have been my first guess. The list of people in the running for a free design are:

Thus concludes this mornings retardation.

ZZ Top - TV Dinners

Monday, September 17, 2007

Next Stop? Karmaville, Bitch.

I usually try to avoid talking about any of the hot topics...Politcs, Religion, etc etc. This blog isn't really the place for that type of stuff, and there are MANY other bloggers out there way more qualified to write about such things. I'm just a chick with an obsession for pop culture and an overinflated sense of self who likes to write a bunch of bullshit to keep herself occupied. But with all the OJ goings on in the past few days, it started me thinking about the book, and all those feelings from October 1995 are coming back. The anger mainly, but a lot of curiosity is in there. I like to look at EVERY situation from both sides of the coin. With politics, I'm a liberal democrat...but I can also see a lot of validity in things the Nazi Republicans (i.e. my hubs) say. With religion I'm a Rigid Agnostic...but I've read the Bible several times, and have very deliberate opinions and can see why people would want to follow a religion. I can see the OJ case in both ways as well. Do I think he did it. You bet your sweet ass...but there is a part of me that wonders...IF, and it's a HUGE IF, he didn't do it, then what is the real story?

I've wanted to read the book since I first heard about it months ago. I was torn though. I didn't want to contribute to his wellbeing, in any way shape or form. I wasn't going to buy the book, I was going to check it out at the library, but I was committed to reading it. Because that part of me wanted to see the other side of the coin. Then I saw the Goldman's on the Today show Friday, and learned all about the book being part of a Bankruptcy deal, and the judge ordering it monetized, and regardless of if the Goldman's published it, it was going to get out there. So they went ahead with it. The proceeds going to the Ron Goldman fund. I changed my mind and ordered the book today from Amazon.

I'm about 99% certain that the Juice is a sociopathic freak of nature, and that he is guilty as sin. But what if? We'll never know for sure, because he's been spinning this shit since he was cowered in the back of a Bronco. He didn't do it. Kato did it. It was racism. The police were out to get him...the police did a shoddy job. Now? Now "Charlie" did it. The glove still doesn't fit.

I find this whole Armed Robbery thing just deserts. It makes me think of Al Capone...the guy ordered and probably carried out dozens murders, and ended up getting sent up for Tax Evasion. If OJ murdered Nicole & Ron, and gets sent up shitcreek for stealing back his own sports memoribillia? Well, if that isn't karma biting him squarely in his ass, I don't know what is. He best just hope the prosecutor let's him plead out and take a lower sentence with a bench trial. Ain't no jury in this country that wouldn't be chomping at the bit to be the people that FINALLY sent OJ to jail.

On a related note, did any of you see the Fox News coverage before the press conference yesterday afternoon? Did anyone else snicker when they saw that one of their legal experts discussing the case was Mark Fuhrman?

We all reap what we sew. I think OJ is has a lot of reaping coming his way. At least I think that's what they're calling it in prison now.

Saturday, September 15, 2007


That's the sound I've been woken up with for the past three days. I'm about to go postal on these people around here. Six AM, and they are out there using a power saw. What the hell are they cutting down that is of such importance that it can't wait until the afternoon? I don't see any trees at risk of falling on people, there aren't any construction projects going on...the fuck?!

I'm not a morning person to begin with. I don't do well if I can't wake up on my own terms. I especially don't do well if I wake up thinking Jason is in my bedroom. I need time...I need to let my eyes adjust to the light, I don't like having my eyes snap open from sheer terror. I need time to let my brain adjust to the fact that I'm awake and not in happy happy brain doesn't like it when it thinks it has to come out of fluffy cloud dreams to protect itself from a psycho killer with a buzz saw. Top all that off with the hispanic dumbfucks having conversations that involve phrases like "chupe leche del pene"...which with my very limited knowledge of spanish I think means something like eat my milky penis, and I only know this because they have said it about fifty two gabillion times....

I'm going to hurt somebody tomorrow morning if this happens again. It's about to become a full fledged Grand Theft Auto Rampage around here.

Pointer Sisters - Should I Do It

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Trivia Thursday 2

I've got the cold from hell...I've barely been able to function all week outside of the bed. And not in a good way. My head is stuffy, my eyes burn, my stomach is wretching, every muscle in my body is sore, I'm fairly certain I coughed so much last night I saw my pancreas expell itself from my innerds...and I think my mood could not get any worse. In case you missed the instructions from last week, here's the recap:

You post your answers to the trivia question in the comments. And if you guess it right, I'll enter you in a drawing for a freebie design by me given away at the end of the month. If I get enough peeps doing this again, I'll keep a list over thar on the sidebar showing who's in the drawing and who won the previous weeks. Got it?
Here's your question for this week:

What word gets typed most during internet searches?

I'll post the answer tomorrow (maybe Saturday depending on how I feel), and hopefully have the running list up in my sidebar for all the winners...right now? I'm going to try to melt this flu thing off me in the tub.


Monday, September 10, 2007

Wedding Story

I hate this show. They are forever showing repeats of it on TLC. Hate it. I hate big weddings. I've never even been to a big wedding. Shocking, I know. But I haven't. I've been invited, and I buy the present, and congratulate the happy little couple, but I never go. It seems like it's all for show. More for the family, than the couple getting hitched.

The idea of spending a billion dollars on dresses and cake and decorators, tuxes, flowers, food, etc etc etc just makes absolutely no sense to me. I got married at the courthouse, and it was perfect. It seems to be the norm for the womens to want the big fairy tale wedding. Especially when I'm watching these shows. Bridezilla. Dude. I never wanted to be that girl. I never ever wanted to look like a giant cupcake, I didn't want everybody and their dog fussing over my hair and "my how gorgeous she looks"...I never wanted to have to worry about getting my shoes dyed just the right shade of puke pink, or picking out the perfect little finger sammiches in the shape of hearts and angels. And I certainly NEVER wanted to invite all those people all for the chance to play the my girl-penis is bigger than your girl-penis game.

I think I'm going to hork if I watch one more second of this show. All the crying, and touching family moments, and emotional toasts, and future plans about children and their perfect home in the suburbs...

Must. Turn. Channel.

I'm weak.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Sunday...Or As I Like To Call It...Memeday!

I'm beginning to hate the word "Meme", but the blog world is so damn slow on the weekends, why waste the good stuff? Know what I mean, Verne?

Ok so, If my life was a movie...what would the soundtrack be?

So, here's how it's gonna work:
1. Open your music (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc). Yes, all of it.
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool...

Opening Credits:
Taylor Dayne - I'll Be Your Shelter
(Ok...I'm supportive and stuff)

Waking Up:
Simon & Garfunkle - Mrs. Robinson
(BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Heh. Nothing like waking up to the sexy old lady next door)

First Day At School:
Selena - Dreaming Of You
(Hmmmmm. I guess this could deal with my first crush in the first grade. If we're taking it back...wayyyyyyy back. His name was Tim. He was dreamy, in that snot nosed 6 year old way. I remember he was this little Lothario, he was always trying to hold my hand in the crayon box, and get my dress to fly up on the swings. He's probably a pimp now or something.)

Falling In Love:
Kiss - Rock & Roll All Night
(Damn straight)

Fight Song:
Arrested Development - Everyday People
(Not very "GRRRRR I'M SO ANGRY" is it? I've always been more of a lover anyway.)

Breaking Up:
Led Zepplin - Whole Lotta Love
(This is oxymoronic. No, this whole meme is oxymoronic.)

Led Zepplin - Dyer Maker
(I went to prom with a girl friend of mine...we got kicked out cuz we didn't have the proper "dates". Whatever. We were hot.)

Cliff Richard - Devil Woman
(It's like it knows me)

Mental Breakdown:
Stevie Wonder - Part Time Lover
( I have nothing to say to that.)

Marvin Gaye - Got To Give It Up
(Good driving song...I can get my groove thang on to this little diddy. Most any Marvin Gaye song...except Let's Get It On, that's a whole different Groove. Did I just say diddy?)

Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway - The Closer I Get To You
(I hate this meme)

Marcy Playground - Sex & Candy
(No, I take that back. I love this meme. I should have made this my first dance. Nothing says romance like the smell of sex and candy)

Birth of Child:
Jennifer Warnes - Right Time Of The Night
(Both of my girls were born at night...kind of fitting I guess?)

Final Battle:
The Carpenters - Yesterday Once More
(That is one mother effin lame battle. Maybe I fight somebody with a wet noodle or something.)

Death Scene:
Terrance Trent D'arby - Wishing Well
(I do not want to die to Terrance. That would be one tragic death)

Funeral Song:
James Ingram - I Don't Have The Heart
(Sad song....sure. Not really appropriate for a funeral though. For future reference, I want Zepplin's Kashmir at my funeral.)

End Credit:
Huey Lewis & The News - Back In Time
(Kick ass. Do I get a DeLorean too? And a dog named Einstein?)

If anybody is so bored that they decide to self-flagellate and do this on their blog, lemme know in the comments. I gotta see.

Chiffons - He's So Fine

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Trivia Thursday Winners #1

Yup, I forgot to post the winners yesterday. Pretty par for the course, I get busy with trivial stuff like life, and working, and kids...and then forget the important posting the trivia winners. Cest la vie. So here ya go, the questions was:

The three most valuable brand names on earth are Coca Cola, Budweiser, and what?

The answer was Marlboro. Coke, Bud and Marlboro. All the good stuff. Three people guessed right, so that starts us off with three people in the drawing for the new design. See how easy that was? I'll make a section in my sidebar to keep a running list of everyone in the drawing...maybe this afternoon...right now I feel like I'm coming down with something. I think these germs have legs. My head is stuffed, my eyes feel like marbles, and my stomach feels like it's doing the Pachanga.

Congrats winners!

A Blonde Blogger

Keith Sweat - Make You Sweat

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Trivia Thursday

Ok, so I used to do this over on Zed, and then over on, but I did it on Tuesdays, and it got a bit old, so I retired it. That being said, I'm a Useless Trivia Whore so I'm bringing Trivia Back. Like Justin Timberlake...only without the sex.

Here's the deal, you post your answers to the trivia question in the comments. And if you guess it right, I'll enter you in a drawing for a freebie design by me given away at the end of the month. If I get enough peeps doing this again, I'll keep a list over thar on the sidebar showing who's in the drawing and who won the previous weeks. Got it? K here ya go:

The three most valuable brand names on earth are Coca Cola, Budweiser, and what?

Spread the word about the contest if you know anyone who wants a new design. Free is a very good price.

The answer will be posted tomorrow.

Good Luck!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Thank Goodnes For W Blue Sky Lives

I think I laughed so hard I peed a little watching these. If you have a spare 20 mins or so, and would love to waste it sitting here watching's so well worth it. Absolutely, 100% not work or kid safe.

"Super Mario Is Frustrating"

Part One:

Part Two:

Who builds a castle like this?!

Friggin priceless.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Clean Asses and Pantyliners

Something is perplexing me. Those wet wipe thingies...the toilet paper things. What the hell is that good for? I understand the wanting to be clean down there...but really, is this necessary? Are people really having that hard of a time making things shine down there? Maybe if you were camping or something? I dunno, but it's buggin me. And the commercials are just as eerie. Those people are just way too excited about ass wiping. I've never once been that excited about having a clean ass...sure it's a good thing, but not exactly something to celebrate, yanno?

Also, the panty liners for G-Strings? Seriously...if you're wearing a G-String at the same time as your needing a panty liner? Perhaps this wasn't the wisest fashion choice? Just my opinion.

I think I just sunk to a new blog low...I need something new to write about.

Walter Egan - Magnet and Steel

Sunday, September 2, 2007

I'm Gonna Poke An Eye Out

I wear glasses. I do. Not all the time, but occasionally, if I've sat my ass in front of this box for too long, or if I'm reading alot, I'll get headaches, and then they help. I'm wearing them now...I would think myself all Librarian Chic right now if it weren't for the fact that there is a big scratch on the left lens, and I keep swatting at an imaginary hair like thing floating in front of my face. I look like a total spaz with bad aim. Also, because of the imaginary hair, it's causing my right eye to go all crossed trying to find the elusive hair/scratch.

Perhaps it was my decision to clean my glasses with an old scratchy dish towel. I'm thinking that this wasn't the wisest of moves. I can only hope that crosseyed chicks who swat at imaginary things in front of their face will suddenly become very sexy.

Or, I could make an appointment with the eye doc to get some new glasses...but then I have to do that whole eye dialation thing...and that makes me look a whole different flavor of spastic. I could go when I take my daughter since her eyesite is getting so bad she needs the Readers Digest version of everything. It'll be a family affair.

Hot Chocolate - Every One's A Winner