Mom's At It Again

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Highly Flammable

I am pretty sure that my family, in a cooperative effort, is trying to kill me. This includes my dog. Every damn person in this house has gas that could peel paint. It seriously smells like something crawled into the walls and died. I swear to geezus. It started last night and there has been no reprieve. I was tempted to sleep in the living room last night, I was certain I was gonna wake up with curly hair. Good Gawd.

I have tried air freshener and lysol and even pouring some bleach, pretty much anything with a strong enough scent to cover the rancid gas floating around...nothing is working. I was going to light my loverly apple spice candle, but I'm afraid to spark a match, for fear that it will turn into a roman candle and melt my face off.

I just walked by my sweet, innocent puppy and he cut one, and I swear he was aiming it right for me. It was like hitting a wall of stink. Some big smelly shit brick wall. Oh. My. God.

I'm living in the bog of eternal stench right now.

On the bright side, I think I'll be able to save on electricity...with all the toxic gas floating around, things are bound to start glowing green.

Aren't you glad I shared?

Brandy - Best Friend

3 Comments:

At August 22, 2007 at 10:01 PM , Blogger Mr. Crazy said...

I'm sorry I missed your birthday. Hope you had a good time, and I still like the Cordoba.

 
At August 23, 2007 at 7:28 AM , Blogger Janet said...

Try walking into a classroom full 20+ of third graders after lunch time. Yikes!

 
At August 26, 2007 at 5:05 PM , Blogger Mia said...

Crazy Dude - Not a problem! It was a good one this year.

Janet - I can't even imagine! Having two kids and a man in the house is bad enough. I'll send you some good luck.

 

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