Mom's At It Again

Sunday, July 22, 2007


I do weird shit. I realize this the clearer my head gets. I do things that most people would say defines "crazy", when in reality, I'm finally coming out of the crazy.

Last year: Crazy.
This year: Uncrazy.

You see the difference.

So, this thing I do, that I just realized today, is I tend to fantasize things in my head. So like, take for instance, I'm doing the dishes, putting things in the dishwasher, and in my head I'll imagine I'm this super famous person all decked out in my hottest Stella McCartney/Jimmy Choo combination, waving at all my adoring fans, and doing my very best Lindsay LoWeight side poses. And then in the middle of this little fantasy, something will snap and I'll imagine myself tripping and falling over in my Choo's and impaling myself on something like a giant icecicle, and dying right there in the middle of the kitchen like that chick from Black Christmas.

I would be willing to bet that other people have these weird sort of daydream fantasies, but do other people have the ones where they off themselves at the end. How come my fantasies don't end with, like, Sting proposing, or rainbows and bunnies? With my luck, my bunnies would be rabid and Sting would go all Dune on my ass.

An icecicle? It would be just my luck that hard water would be the death of me.

I'm not doing the dishes anymore.

Cold - Stupid Girl


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