Where's My Cooth?

I wish I was more girly. I wish I liked to wear pink every day, and could put on a dress without getting the dry heaves. I wish I enjoyed messing with my hair and makeup all the time, and that heels didn't make me fall flat on my face. I don't wish these things every day...but I have my moments, like now. I'm just not very girly.

I wear jeans and a T-shirt pretty much every day of my life...my hair is straight and all one length, so I only have to wash it and brush it every day...makeup is almost a foreign language to me. I wear lip gloss and some mascara, and that happens maybe once a week.

My mother used to always tell me when I was a kid that I had "no cooth"...I still don't know what cooth is, but I spose it has something to do with my saying I've gotta take a leak instead of I've gotta use the restroom....and my ability (with enough Diet Coke) to belch the alphabet forwards and backwards....maybe it's because I have no problem picking a wedgie or adjusting my bra in front of other people, I don't understand the whole idea of being uncomfortable for the benefit of others. Or it could be as simple as me not wanting to be like all those vapid airheads wandering the streets masquerading as "women".

I hate girlie movies...I don't like Cameron Diaz, she reminds me of the Joker from Batman...And aside from hell week, I can't stand chick flicks. Most of the Hollywod guys that girls get the vapors over, don't usually do much for me. For future reference, Brad Pitt looks like a troll. I don't really like to cuddle or be touched more than necessary. I don't like getting hugs and kisses every other second...my girls are the exception to the rule. I'm all about the personal bubble BS.

Perhaps mom was right.

Don't get me wrong, I do have some girly tendencies. I do like to look nice and dress up every once in a while...I enjoy being swept off my feet for my wedding anniversary, I love it when my husband brings me flowers, and yes, if the time is right, I do still tear up over Dirty Dancing...but on the whole, I'm just not very feminine.

Maybe it's just like my mother said...perhaps I lack cooth. Whatever that may be. Or maybe I just have no class. I dunno...but I like me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take a leak.

Chris Rea - I Can Hear Your Heartbeat