Mom's At It Again

Friday, November 16, 2007

Would You Like A Side Of Foot In Your Ass With That?

Who in the hell's bright idea was PMS? Come the hell on. It's quite the elusive bitch. And it's only getting worse with each passing year. Days like this piss me off...I run the entire gamet of emotions in a matter of minutes. I sit here laughing my ass off watching stupid video's on Break.com, and then I'm brought almost to tears when I see a friggin human interest story on the news about how this family is taking care of pets of people fighting over in the middle east, to being totally and completely pissed off to the point of almost slam dancing with my monitor because it won't open the program I want it too, to happy again now because The Cover Girls just came on my media player and I'm sitting here chair dancing. What the holy fuck?!

PMS?! I never, and I do mean that, I NEVER used to get PMS. Ever. I could bleed for a week and not bat an eye. Now, the bitch sneaks up on me and I want to fling my reproductive organs from the tallest bridge. I swear to cheese I just had this like a week ago. Eventually, I'm just going to be one big ball of PMS, all the hormones running together and the man will come home from work and find me in a corner somewhere sobbing over how the monitor hates me, and the middle east is petless, and how much I love really bad 90's girl groups.

However, do you know what makes a day better when it's been a complete Jenga game of shit and hormones?

Tantric activities with Sting.

Know what makes a day like today better when your name isn't Trudie Styler so Tantric activities with Sting isn't an option because of that whole sanctity of marriage thing?

$18 Gourmet Cherry Cheesecake* from your daughters school fundraiser.

Yup it works. In enormously sickening doses it has been known to alleviate any and all side effects of PMS.

I'm giving the Midol an hour to kick in and then I'm flinging my reproductive organs off the porch.

* Side effects include: Stomach ache, sugar high, cherry induced vomiting, selfish gorging, stabby-get-your-own -damn-cheesecake motions and no-room-for-dinnerness.

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Now playing: Billy Joel - I Go To Extremes
via FoxyTunes

3 Comments:

At November 17, 2007 at 8:06 AM , Blogger Janet said...

I've decided you change blog layouts more than some people change their underwear:)

I used to take Midol, but I found the caffeine in it made me loopy. Now I prefer to take regular old Advil. It's the women who barely know their period is there and proceed as usual who bother me the most. Let's get em!:)

Oh and props for the mention of the Cover Girls...that made my day!

 
At November 17, 2007 at 1:33 PM , Blogger Mia said...

Janet - I do change my layout a ton...about once a month. I get so bored with a design once I see it day in and day out for a few weeks. It's the designer in me. And I do adore The Cover Girls. I was afraid I was the only person left who remembered them at all lol

 
At November 17, 2007 at 3:44 PM , Blogger suchsimplepleasures said...

pms...don't even get me started on that! since my last child, almost 4 years ago...it's gotten bad. really, really bad. my dark side shows itself about 2 weeks pre...my family takes cover and tries to find the silver bullets, just in case i start growing fur, fangs etc...
it's a mess...can't wait to see what menopause does for me!

 

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