We should have shotguns for this

I'm home. Thank the almighty whoever! What a trip...my portion of it got shortened to just one night, which is good cuz I don't think I coulda handled one more story from the backwater hicks. However, hicks can be funny in their own cute little gimpy way. I'll make a little listy goodness of things I saw/did in the course of 18 hours in the country.

~ A trailor home with a hot tub
~ A 6'5", 300 pound man named Bart wearing a Tutu and tiara
~ Same 300 pound man frolicking with cows in the tutu and tiara
~ A married man sitting in 'my wetspot' and then smelling his fingers
~ A very drunk female lassy, passed out on the deck
~ A 60ish year old couple dancing to Kid Rock in the rain
~ Quote of the night "They made me drink alot and then fed me chicken!"
~ Heavy petting with a married woman
~ Using my boobies as weapons
~ Being told I was the "life of the party" 29,929,827,982,729.3 times

I could go on, but I'll leave it at that. I think the most powerful revelation I had last night was that tequilla is NOT my friend. It makes me do things that a rational drunk would not normally do. It makes me say things that a good girl should never say to married people. I do not want to be invited to anymore of Mr. Tequilla's functions...thanks but no, I will not be fraternizing with you anymore.