Mom's At It Again

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Dentist Chair Thoughts

Things I was thinking while I sat in the dentists chair this morning, while getting my three hour root canal:

"Root Canal! With you?! Absolutely! But only if the Gynocologist is unavailable!"

"Please stop talking to my teeth"

"I'm paying for this?!"

"I hate this bitch."

"Why is that tooth of particular interest to you? Is there gold in there?"

"I can only assume since your digging so damn deep in my molar, that it must have roots like a Douglas Fir."

"Sure! I'd love to answer all your questions about my family, and worklife, but it's hard to speak with your hand and entire tool box shoved in my mouth"

"That thing looks a hell of alot like a scalpel"

"Is that guy in the other room ok? It sounds like he's having his face torn off with a weed wacker."

"Why do they have a tin of hard candy in the waiting room?"

"I'm going to be buried in this chair."

"Lady, would you mind not shoving the sucky thing all the way down my throat? If you do that again, you run a high risk of finding yourself covered in Bullemia Juice."

"Spit?! Why would I want to spit?! I love the taste of burnt teeth!"

"WOO! Another appointment?! Let me clear my calendar!"

Fuck you back, Dr. Lee

My face hurts.

Coolio - Fantastic Voyage


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