Mommy Dearest

My mother is insane!!! No really, like certifiable, lock her up, padded cell, make sure she has something to bite on, insane! You don't believe me, right? I have proof...These are snippits from the convo just had with Mommy Dearest...

Crazy Mother: ther you go insulting me again
gruvewthme: lol I love you mommy dearest
Crazy Mother: will you ever forget the mommy dearest
gruvewthme: no
Crazy Mother: i am sorry that i do not allow wire hangers jim liked wire to tell i found them now he no why he should not have them try to hide them from the master
gruvewthme: are you speaking the english
gruvewthme: what the hell did you just say
gruvewthme: me no understandee da mommy speak
Crazy Mother: i am the queen of my domain do not cross over
Crazy Mother: i am totally brain dead it is a good thing that i only have school for 4 hour 3 nights a week
Crazy Mother: you need learn english language
gruvewthme: did you read what you just typed up there...it was like...me no likey wire jim likey stuff and things and bleh me likey
gruvewthme: lol
Crazy Mother: this is a great way from me to get faster at my typing skills dont you think
gruvewthme: oh yeah....speedy indeedy
gruvewthme: now if we could fix your language skills
gruvewthme: lol
Crazy Mother: sorry lost my pointer thing had to find it you crack me up
gruvewthme: lol your pointer thingie...is that the technical term for a mouse mommy?
Crazy Mother: mouse?

Ok but maybe that isn't enough proof for you...take this one...
Crazy Mother: my front porch light went out while i was gone tonight now it is dark and i am scared
gruvewthme: do you need someone to hold you?
Crazy Mother: nop i need someone to change the light bulb
gruvewthme: that too

Still not convinced???
Crazy Mother: would you do my homework for me
gruvewthme: what are you 12
Crazy Mother: it is on the digestive system
gruvewthme: oh ok
Crazy Mother: i say i have a 18 year old mind carrying around a 49 year old body
gruvewthme: what age are your boobs then

Ok...here's my final attempt...
Crazy Mother: he has not gone pooh in a week so i have a feeling that his kidneys or bowel is not working
gruvewthme: gone pooh, mommy??
Crazy Mother: poop ok i was trying to be nice
gruvewthme: you don't wanna tell me about your animals big steaming wafting pile of crapola??
Crazy Mother: this could be serious for your brother
Crazy Mother: have a heart
gruvewthme: please don't refer to the dog as my brother
gruvewthme: that's just wrong on soooo many levels

Poop indeed...